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Adrian Snrub's Best Live Space In The Universe?Amusing, dry, sarcastic, crude, idiotic wit. Hell, I wouldn't even call it "wit".
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2006/9/7 MySpace.com Sucks So Stop Using It Damn It.
2006/8/23 Water Is EvilWe are going to start an anti-noise pollution extremist group.
We shall extremely quietly destroy all kinds of noise. We should even cut off our fingers because of the irritating noises that our keystrokes create. Actually, no; we need our fingers so that we can learn sign language.
I don't care if you develop a mental disorder. Mental people are cool. Go remove your room from all noise now!
Where do we sign?
Actually, no.
I need to find the scientific name for water. Ah yes, Water's scientific name is 'Dihydrogen monoxide' (which sounds incredibly bad).
We must start a petition and tell people that they must sign in order to try and press the government to remove Dihydrogen monoxide from our waterways
People did things I didn't think of. Such as film buttseckz? No. They associate death by drowning with Dihydrogen monoxide. So, you could use 2004's tsunami... and use the statistic of the amount of people that died from that. BREAKING NEWS: In 2004, some <insert huge tsunami statistic here> people died as a result of Dihydrogen monoxide.
Dihydrogen monoxide is surely to blame, and we'll make that bastard pay!
DID YOU KNOW? Dihydrogen monoxide is fatal if inhaled? It's true.
Surely we must ban dihydrogen monoxide. It's the root of all evil. Hitler used it. Need more proof?
Water = root of all evil, because without it, life wouldn't exist. So there'd be no evil. Right? Supreme logic from the Supreme Being!
[Just look at this artist rendition of dihydrogen monoxide clearly showing evil qualities which eyewitness, Paige has drawn out to be as lifelike as possible.] There has been trace of dihydrogen monoxide in all chemical and nuclear weapons.
Dihydrogen monoxide can also prove fatal when mixed with arsenic and so forth, poisoning millions of people each year. Dihydrogen monoxide is able to have acidic or alkaline properties!!! We're doomed... it also carries Ammonia! May God have mercy on us all!
DID YOU KNOW? 'Coca Cola contains Dihydrogen monoxide, which was linked to <number of tsunami deaths> in 2004!
Let us cause uproar in the stock markets! We totally just screwed Coca Cola over with our staggering research.
Fact: Australian cattle are forced to drink dihydrogen monoxide as a plot to make them grow. So dihydrogen monoxide, used by evil people, it's in the blood of evil people, caused death through inhaling, caused death through being mixed with certain substances, Nuclear weapons contain it… anything else that these bastards have ruined for us?
It's a heartbreaking sad fact, that many fish caught in foreign waters and imported to Australia for Australian consumption have suffered prolonged exposure to dihydrogen monoxide. :{
I stand by the fact that Hitler was at least 80% Dihydrogen monoxide. That just proves we need to stop this epidemic.
The time for action is now. The means for action is unknown, but we must prevail... This isn't just an epidemic... IT'S A PANDEMIC.
Oh my...read this: Symptoms of dihydrogen monoxide ingestion include excessive sweating and urination.
When taken, consumed with alcoholic content, research has shown that dihydrogen monoxide causes permanent liver and brain cell damage.
Ahhh crap! I think I'm over it now, stuff doing an illustration of evil beer...time to look for stupid things on Ebay.
http://trashcanland.spaces.live.com < Go home, fools.
This was a blog for Cody. This entry was based on a conversation we shared, which I've stolen from archives, and placed into written form for the pleasure of passer-by-eyes. I may be a thief, but I'm an honest one; which in short - makes me a pretty crappy thief. Cheerio. 2006/8/19 All you need is... paper!Creation of Boredom
Business Studies is boring. The teacher keeps babbling and I keep not listening. Glorious isn't it? I'm not much a fan of the word "glorious" and... Sorry to go off on that tangeant. What I really wish to talk about is... the wonders of...
Paper!
Why paper? Because it's damned exciting! ~
(~ May or not be truthfully exciting.)
I'm here to advertise something... Not "MEGAPAPER", not "SUPERPAPER 3000", well shit not even "coloured paper"!
Here at the paper factory we guarantee (not a real guarantee) to offer all these features and more! #
(# There may or may not be more.)
The durable, dynamic, useful, fun invention! Heck, it's even edible!
* Sell it
* Screw it up
* Choke your neighbour with it somehow
* Write on it
* Shit on it
* Fold it
* Hide drugs and smoke them in it
* Eat it
* Explode it
* BURN IT
* WET IT
* FREEZE IT
* Show you're hardcore: cut yourself with it
All these USEFUL features! You could make millions! (although this outcome is unlikely)
You can NEVER go wrong with paper!^
(^ Except sometimes.)
Enjoy your day, and this short entry. About how much paper simply rocks my socks. Enlist to Paperlovers Anonymous today. If pain persists, see your doctor.
http://trashcanland.spaces.live.com < Now go home. 2006/8/2 Aaaahh CRAP!WTF MATE?!?!
Well that's just great. Finally I get my second webpage up and running and MSN shits itself yet again. Fan-friggin'-tastic.
Oh wow! Complex list crap!
Oh wow! New URL address!
Oh wow! Custom HTML box can now hold AS MUCH SPARKLY CRAP AS I WANT IT TO!
More "improvements" brought to you by the dyslexic and incompetant at MSN.
Since, undoubtedly every other single person with a Space has already commented on these changes (or annoying people about viewing new pictures/songs on MySpace.com and with poetry and chain mail and...), I'll say "stuff it" and continue on with my life.
Since you like poetry, here:
MSN can suck it
So can MySpace.com
If you've got a bucket
Let me hit UR MOM
She concieved you, sadly
To bring me all this woe
I would hit you gladly
Your mother is a ho
...
Oh wow, poetry. I'm so emo.
Screw your wit. Oh this will not be my last entry. Much to your dismay.
Thanks for the responses to the survey, expect some changes soon, you picky little *censor*.
http://trashcanland.spaces.LIVE.com < Go home. 2006/7/21 Shout outs, pictures, birthday announcement, links, and more hatred.Don't be an emokid. I hate emokids.
Why?
I just do, okay!
If you are an emokid, get off Myspace.com, stop writing like a freak, stop taking pictures of yourself.
Go take a picture of yourself smiling with the family like in the good old days without whacky angles and photoshopping out those nasty angry pimples. Smile, and get that hair out of your face. Also it wouldn't hurt you to look a little respectable.
You bastards.
Now go to these much more friendly links: (hold shift and click to open new window)
Birthday Blog: I'm 18! For the blog written about the day I "became of age" sadly with no license or ID.
What Shampoo Do You Use? Anybody? For the blog about idiocy on Sydney trains. Shout Outs Blog: Faces That Rock! Probably needs another update. I am NOT sorry for any names not listed.
Here's some pictures of richly goodness, what every growing boy and girl needs (apparently):
Earl and Tony's Honeymoon:
Earl and Tony in the Jungle
Earl and Tony on Star Trek
Earl and Tony in France
Earl and Tony in Egypt
Adrian Wylde, courtesy of Tim Flaps
Adrian Wylde in action, courtesy of Tim Flaps
Suck crap, Drew Barrymore! This is my first MSN drawn picture thing.
This picture scares the living hell out of me - thankyou Charmaine for sending it... WHY?! Oh why!
I don't know why this display picture was created... it doesn't make any sense to me... You God damn people are strange!
Cheerio.
http://trashcanland.spaces.msn.com < Click here to go home. 2006/7/17 Welcome to your Saturday Night Cult MovieThis is a tribute to the smartass guy, who used to show the ‘cult’ movies on SBS and bag crap out of them. One day, I want to be a smartass SBS announcer. To have some stranger approach me in a bar and say: “Oi, you’re the bloke who shows them adult films on SBS!”
What glorious ambitions! I’m writing an application for the position of “Saturday Night Movie Sarcastic Guy”. Movie ratings aren't important. No one gives a crap if someone gives a movie a "big thumbs up". Take your thumbs, and cram them up your... nose!
Each review sticks to a 100 word limit (loosely) for your convenience, not mine. Enjoy.
Anger Management
“Enjoyable, forgettable date movie. Surprisingly didn’t make me angry.”
When you combine worlds’ greatest pedo look-alike (Jack Nicholson) with TV’s favourite angry-man being angry (Adam Sandler) you get one of the wackiest, crappiest, cheapest pieces of faecal matter ever. It is chocolate coated faecal matter… so some bits might taste nice… but will you risk it? I watched it 5 minutes ago, and have already forgotten what it was about. I recall it being good, and surprisingly relaxing. But average. What gives, man? Good for cheerin’ up morbid freaks.
The Italian Job
I started watching the first half of this, but the so called “criminal masterminds” started to resemble the cast of Baywatch. I’m sorry to inform you, that ‘pretty boy’ and ‘busty chick’ are a bit hard to take seriously. They make me cry in the pants. This was much like a Mafia movie, but without the ugly guys… strangely this proved to be a very, very bad thing. Oh, but wonderfully expensive looking! Someone must have lost a LOT of money here! What justice! I’ll watch the rest when my IQ drops.
The Butterfly Effect
Whoa! Crazy, crazy crap! Embark on a Time Travel journey that doesn’t suck dog phallus. About a man who goes back to when he was a kid and keeps making things rather crap for everyone around him, and changing his future… screwing things up worse and worse. Why? Good question. See this movie, or die a horrible death. If you’re asexual, you won’t enjoy the intimate scenes, but I assume just about every single one of you only rent “MA” movies for one reason. Perverts!
Sin City
“What the bloody hell?”
Serious. Monotonous. Confusing. Uncharacterised. Repetitive. Obnoxious. Seemingly never-ending. Strange. “Artsy”. Film noir. Max Payne rip-off. Black& White. Boring. Please pardon the fragments, but I had to fit those into the word limit. Apart from that, the only thing that makes this movie, is watching Frodo (Elijah Wood will never be seen as anything else) being eaten by a dog, watching some ugly yellow man having his balls ripped off, and lots and lots of boobies being shown! Going, going, sold!
Freddy Got Fingered
“It didn’t touch MY private areas… just my pets.”
A movie that forever haunts the dodgy end of all video stores, and I promise it contains NO fingering scenes. Talk about fake advertising! Earl was so annoyed when he saw this surprisingly hilarious film. It follows a much messed up “28 year old man” as he emphatically reminds his father. A movie that dares to cross boundaries of crude wit, but at least its wit, and not constant fart jokes. A movie to laugh at, rather than with. Don’t tell anyone it’s a favourite of mine. Please, I beg of you.
Reservoir Dogs
“This movie was so good; I made illegal copies of it!”
Quentin Tarantino may be a racist piece of crap, but his movies sure do vary! This one’s full of backstabbers, Mafia lingo, and juicy violence. Most of the movie is set in one room (compare it to SAW, which rocked), whilst you try and work out what the hell happened. After seeing this, suddenly lots of Simpson’s jokes made sense. “See this? I’m playing the world’s smallest violin”. This cheap, but awesome film is now in my “See or die” list; Hire it, copy it, sell it…legally, yes… legally. Right?
The Silence of the Lambs
“Intense, yet boring glory - Yes it's possible.”
If you’re a fan of crazed serial killers hitting on cops after smelling them, and a fan of watching movies that don’t actually SHOW what the devil happens to a crapload of people who just so happened to be skinned alive … now IF you enjoy these things, I think there’s something very, very wrong with you, but at least you can enjoy this film which feeds off endless suspense, and no laughs whatsoever. Enjoy wasting the longest 90 minutes of your life. Creeps.
Wolf Creek
“40 damned minutes before there’s even any ‘creepy music’”
40 minutes of Bogans! 40! I counted 40 damned freaking minutes of people sitting in a car drinking and talking - know how many people? 3! 3 people! And the movie is rated "R"? When there are only 3 people to kill off in the whole movie? What a jip! Apart from that - it kicks more butt than Jackie Chan when he's angry at white boys.* Oh – and there’s one good splatter.
*This movie has absolutely nothing to do with Jackie Chan; I've no idea why I even mentioned him.
A Clockwork Orange
"I say, I say BOY! It's messed up! DAMNED messed up, that is!" - Foghorn Leghorn, on behalf of Adrian Snrub.
This is the kind of movie that's not stocked up on shelves. And is it any wonder? It's insane. A movie designed to mess with your head, ruin classical music for everyone, and make us expect an axe to come through the door at any moment with strong acts of violence and doing the "in/out" with women. The director was whacked out on drugs, wrote a script, and here it is. I'll watch it again and again until I become a crazed murderer. There are two kinds of people in this universe... people who have seen this movie, and people who haven't. Go watch this piece of history, and then bleach your eyes!
That's all Folks!...
...for now. (dun dun duuuun)
Boo. adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au All I've done with my holidays is watch movies. PS: DON'T see Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest (it sucks), OR Click with crap sappy story and Adam Sandler (which also sucks).
PS: I'm not racist just because I think telemarketers should have decent communication skills, "Chezza". And "freedom-not-fascism", no one needs to bow to you. 2006/7/11 I am are you interest yes deal?THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING! MY BIRTHDAY IS ON THE 19TH JULY. I'LL BE 18. FORGET, AND DIE! RED FONT OF DOOM! Now for actual blog on telemarketing bastards...
Am I interested in yes deal? No.
Never.
No way in hell.
Leave me alone you damned non-English speaking telemarketer pieces of crap!
What the hell is "Vooakoone"? I do not care. Where the hell is "Nert Ooeessay"? Not a freakin' clue. Go away.
No, I said go away, you bastard! I can't understand a damned word. I'll be right back, I'm going to the toilet...
Alright I'm back, wait, what the hell? You're still babbling? NO I haven't been here the whole tim- NO I wouldn't like you to repeat the offer. What? What? No I will NOT give you my information.
Prick.
No I don't want you to send me a free starter kit. YES I am happy. Look, piss off.
The familiar phone call. And apparently I'm racist?
Am I racist if I don't give a blind man a truck driving license? or if I choose that the tall guy shouldn't ride the roller coaster and end up decapitated? No, screw you Egyptians, Indians, Asians, and Aliens. I can't understand a word, get another job. LOLZ READ THIS, IT'S (NOT THAT) FUNNY: How to get rid of telemarketers
1. Hang up on the sons of whores. (duh)
2. Speak French until they get angry and hang up. (I don't actually speak French, irellevant)
3. Leave the phone and let them babble until they realise you're not there. "Hello? Hello?"
4. Try to sell them a product of your own (can be imaginary, such as "Anti-telemarketer devices")
5. Ask them questions about their personal lives and try to divert the conversation to another topic.
6. Act freaky. Or clingy. (not likely to work)
7. Vent your anger, by yelling and abusing the crap out of them. (Yaay!)
8. Pretend that you can't hear them, shout at them as if the line is faulty, try getting them to hang up.
9. Say "be right back" and leave 'em hangin'. (waste their time and money, sweet victory)
10. Repeat everything they say (3 cheers for acting like a child!) Fight questions with questions.
'Tis simple. Make a challenge, and time yourself! Then make an effort to BEAT that record!
What do you do when you get an Australian telemarketer? Thank the man! He just saved you from turning homicidal.
Greetings, how can I help you? Oh you wish to sell me something eh? Oh okay, you've got less than a minute. Enlighten me. Wha? Ah yeah, much better than the pricks at Telstra who keep ringing us even though we're already members to their crappy service.
Uh huh? Yeah? Sounds good. Uuh, I'm currently on dial up, meaning that every damned phone call from telemarketers actually disconnects me from the Internet, just as you have done now.
Hah, indeed. Alrighty, I'll look into it. AAPT eh? How's that compare to TPG? No contract? Sweet. Your face rocks, THANKYOU for not being an Indian prick. What's that, you're Australian? Thankyou for your time sir, it'll be fine for you to ring back in a month.
Behold! Intelligent conversation! Everyone's got stories about telemarketers, mormons, Jevoha's Witnesses, and Ebay notifications. Leave your own entertaining tales in a comment, you cheap bastards.
Speaking of cheap bastards, I snuck in to see "Click". I'm glad I didn't pay money to see it - don't see it.
I'm serious, don't even think about it.
Just, no.
Cheerio, I'm now off to sneak into Pirates of the Carribean: 2. I need more hobbies besides watching movies cheaply these holidays. I'll consider paying for this movie if it's any good...
PFFT, nah. Oh, friends can see if they got a mention in the "Shout Out" blog (I'll link you to it later). Enjoy.
Some retarded person from my hometown left a comment in previous blog asking "how can I be Lord of the Blogs if I live in Dubbo?" the answer, of course is. "Because I don't have a damned pink sparkly crap Space without any content." Grow a brain, woman.
2006/6/24 Satan.Don't let this pink outfit,
This song is evil, it's... the single most horrifying thing I've ever witnessed. It scared me, DON'T LET THEM TAKE YOU TOO! CHARLIE! Come in, Charlie? NOOOOOOOOOOO! Gasp.
Nichole: *poke* Have you seen the cake song? Adrian Snrub: No? Should I? Nichole: [Insert link of doom here] Yes, it's addictive.
Now, I do not wish to inform you of the one minute and forty seven seconds of agony that was to follow, but this video clip song thing, is definately a leap forward to scientists who are trying to prove the non-existance of God.
Violence against women, Australia says "no"; Cruelty against humanity, America says "yes".
Those bastards!
I'm currently working on a letter of complaint, we're sending a few of our men as decoys to throw off the blockade at present. We are prepared for battle, and our men will stop at nothing. The battle shall take place at 0800 hours.
Conscription won't be necessary as we suspect that people will enroll due to free will to help our desperate cause, anyone who doesn't enlist, ought to be ashamed of themselves. Please be advised the enemy are heavily armed with bright colours, and disturbing music. We only have one chance to take this b*tch out, right, let's move it out!
Right here are the numbers:
I think we stand a fighting chance... ....
A movie trailor which I've written might entice you to view this vicious piece of crap:
Beware, a legacy of pain, horror, terror, and puppets... ... there is a time to run, and a time to cry, a time to choke, and a time to die... Behold, a song that rhymes "cake" with "cake"... ...and makes all these horrible things... reallity. Crazy Town presents... "Cooking By The Book"
OUT NOW: Horrified? You damned well should be!*
* Life insurance sold individually at all participating cinema outlets, what cost can you place on a life? Be prepared! Please note we are not liable for any damages, especially haemorrhages or mental damage caused. To protect your eyes, goggles will do nothing. You are hereby held responsible for your own stupidity in clicking this link. It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake
Alright. Kill me. Make it quick and painless, please! Back To Mainpage
PS: I'm still out of credit, and also apologise for all the calls I've missed recently. If you get a message from me, it's through using cheap-ass Internet alternatives (cheap = free). adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au Email the code here if you could be stuffed. 2006/6/19 UPPER CASE LETTER TIME!My blogs are depreciating in value again - hence I deleted a few.
http://the-real-adrian.spaces.msn.com Go here for daily babble - it's a bit of a change from the stuff I would write for this space, a lot less pajazo, and fewer attempts to be obnoxious or offensive.
Horrible news: Tony Smith is alive.. for big blog fans... this means that strange young man who inspired such songs of mine as "Eatin' Babys" and "Earl and Tony, Love Tragedy". He's started a band, where they make pointless noise. It's horrific. He's also become a MySpace whore.. who would have thought it.
The Tony we once knew, offending all - but mostly the Jewish community... is long dead.
Right, now for an actual blog - please be advised, I've just woken up from a 20 hour weekend sleep, glorious stuff.
THE BLOG:
ALRIGHT YOU LITTLE SNOTS! STOP DATING EACHOTHER OVER THE INTERNET, IT'S DAMNED STUPID AND UNSUSTAINABLE, FOOLS.
YOU'RE ALL LOSING MY RESPECT. I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO SAY GOODBYE TO A "REAL" LIFE AND GET A DAMNED "INTERNET GIRLFRIEND", AND SHE JUST SO HAPPENED TO LOOK LIKE...
THIS!
SURE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY RESPECT, SURE YOU WON'T LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF WISDOM, SO WHY NOT JUST TIE YOURSELF A NOOSE RIGHT NOW? YEAH? I DOUBLE DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE MOTHERF-
Wow, aren't I an angry little maggot? But seriously folks, this internet bullcrap's just gotta stop. Just stop it. Go breathe some fresh air, then you won't be dependant on technology to be "=) just peachy!".
YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO RUIN THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN LIFE, AREN'T YOU? YOU PARTY POOPING REALIST! =( This blog sucked Adrian, you're so mean.
Good. Maybe I like being mean.
</blog>
adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au if any of you are kind enough to purchase some Telstra Pre Paid Plus Mobile Credit, and send me the number thingy, since I don't have a job and all and I've never been payed for any of my efforts (aww isn't that cute, I'm trying guilt tripping), your faces will be loved forever.*
*Possibly.
2006/6/6 Yahoo! SurveyYou bet I'm angry. Oh and today is the 06/06/2006, but this blog is not about that, because I frankly don't care. 666 lolz spooky
What ONE thing could Yahoo! do to improve the handling of a case like yours?
"Human responses are good, better than typical "Did you try Yahoo Customer Support Webpage?" Yes jerkoffs, I did.
I'm tired of automated responses every time I'm hacked, or harassed by paedophiles. They're not helpful, it weakens your customer base.
I prefer MSN, even though it's craptacular. Why? Because the responses have personallity.. even if it's a "snotty" one. Depth, investigation, and friendliness (unless I've been an asshole, and they're letting me know I've crossed the line).
Take care of your face.
I bet you're just another stupid machine, that won't even read this.
F*** your links to Yahoo, I'd rather eat my own vomit. I'm off to use MSN now, buhbye."
What ONE thing could Yahoo! do to improve our Online Help Pages for you?
"Try human contact, assholes. If I've been hacked, and need someone to explain my situation to, let me do it without all this crap of "how to block people". I know how to block people. Even those retarded 12 year olds in the Harry Potter Chat Rooms can figure out that much, and they don't even speak English. ONE thing you could do with them, would be to shove them up your arses." What one enhancement would you like to see on Yahoo!'s Mail ?
If, for every bullcrap "African Queen" who wishes to send me "All her riches" if I "only respond, and give details"...
You people [at Yahoo!] give me $40 000 for every one of those emails that I recieve, that would be awesome.
I'd be at least $40 000 richer, without being Prince of a country that doesn't even exist.
PS: My name is "Adrian" and not "Valued Yahoo! Customer", you ignorant clowns.
2006/5/24 Ode To A CubeMost teenagers are aware of the dark ways of Satan. The way of playing Runescape, Warcraft, or Tibia at the expense of your friendships, relationships, comrades, and brothers.
This is one big "Screw you" for all these evil games, with shocking graphics that steal our friends.
The cube represents the player on the Roleplaying Game Map.
Before you ask, yes, I edited myself poorly into the online game "Runescape".
Ode To A Cube
O little cube, upon my screen
Doth bring me tears of joy,
To see a pixelated dream;
A filthy marketing ploy.
Ode to a cube that steals the soul, childish little toy.
Why doth thou suckest in thine friends?
You filthy rotten cube!
Slaying beasts, your life depends,
And what the crap's a "n00b"?
Ode to a cube that steals the soul, I'd rather suck a boob.
All you do is shovel dirt, haul wood, eat, and poo!
Not that we can see that crap,
The rulebook says it's true.
I'm onto you Mr Bad Anime, your lies, your tricks, your trap.
Ode to a cube that steals the soul, b****, please let me nap!
Warcraft makes my friends' eyes dazed,
He lost his girlfriend too!
That hermit lives inside his "lair", intensing eyebrow raised
Anger stirs within this beast, What is thou to do?
Ode to a cube that steals the soul, YES, I'M ONTO YOU!
Tibia, Runescape, Neopets! Internet form of faeces,
Get back! You evil bastards!
Perverts only play these games, as an explicit tease
It's not even fun unless I'm drunk, only ever plastered
Ode to a cube that steals the soul of perverts, cowards, dastards!
'Tis not my soul you've taken,
No more! Let me live!
Too many freaks, you've shaken!
You've nothing good to give.
Curse to Bill Gates' marketing goal, to make all minds inactive
Curse to the men who bludge the dole, computer nerds compulsive
Curse to the zombie braindead mole, whom I will surely outlive
Ode to the place we dropped them in, a hole...
...with nucular explosive.
[End]
Thanks for listening.
I don't add people. I have enough people. If you really feel inadequate for not knowing me personally, email me and give me a good reason to add you. If not, who cares? Cheerio.
I don't hate the games (okay, I personally find them boring), they're just so damned addictive to others that I miss talking to my friends sometimes = [ and i thought I'd be creative in the way I voice my opinion with a cheap/ easy/ crappy illustration, along with a ballad. Time wasted? Nowhere near as much as my friends spend on Runescape. 2006/5/17 Don't Touch The Gorilla!Now for something a little different, gather around the campfire, while I tell you my tale. Yes, closer... closer.... ew! Not that close, and as for you, I've got a restraining order, so get the hell of my property! Now.
This story is true, it happened to me and is rather frightening.
Listen carefully...
It was a dark and stormless evening, I had been watching television and picking my nose rather vigorously. I practiced my skills at doing nothing, knowing that a future of living with my mother was truely the way to live.
Life was perfect. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I opened it. Sentances shortened to increase tension.
"Hey Adrian howzit goin'? Hey...I was wondering if I, er..." the friendly neighbour formally known as Bob (can you think of a more creative name?) gestured that he wished to come in.
"Oh, come in, Bob!" I said unashamed of the fact I hadn't showered in two months, "What did you want anyway?"
"You need a shower, man" said Bob rather predictably.
"No s***, Sherlock?" I replied, with lame sarcasm and oh so sweet maturity.
My friend was a frequent traveller who owned a gorilla... a rather eccentric man with many quirks. He sat and stated his case. He would be travelling out of the country, and had a rather odd pet that he needed to be taken care of. (care of, care of, care of)
"That gorilla?! He won't try anything suss will he?" I gasped in shock.
"Nah, nah mate, not at all" replied Bob reassuringly, then his brow became tense and his voice a little uneasy. "I really appreciate you taking care of my gorilla and all while I'm away... but just a word of warning, whatever you do: Don't touch him!" ...and with that, Bob was off.
He brought his gorilla in, my mother wouldn't be pleased when she came home from holdays, no-sirree-Bob! But in walked the goofy, hairy fellow ape. Not all that different from myself, but a hell of a lot stronger and larger.
The incredibly large gorilla sat on my lounge chair. We spent hours looking into eachothers eyes (not romantically, I swear)... Bob was probably well on his way to a brothel somewhere in New York by now. Suddenly I had this incredible urge, an urge deep within me. Why wasn't I meant to touch the monsterous gorilla?
Two days passed, and I fed him from a distance as instructed, but eventually my curiosity was starting to get the better of me... stupidity grasped me firmly.
"I'm going to poke you, you little snot! Hah!" those words were my first mistake, the second was walking over to where the creature sat, reaching out an arm... outstretched, and just gently... "Poke!"
There was no more goofy grin, the animal frowned fearcely, his eyes glowed a radiant red. His face showed very, very deep hatred and anger. I was screwed. I shouldn't have touched him, why did I do it again? Damn you, conscience! There was no time for thought now, that gorilla was damned pissed off at me, I had to run for my life before he'd tear me limb from limb.
I ran. Straight across the loungeroom, quickly to the spare bedroom. I listened to chairs, a table, and glass being smashed and upturned. That thing was destroying my house in blind rage! The door of the bedroom I hid in was immediately ripped off it's hinges.
I darted past the muscley ape, I was literally fearing my life. It was horrible, I rushed back towards the other end of the house, I could see the damage that he'd started to wreak. "Please don't let me die" I prayed, desperately.
I spyed a loose floorboard, beneath a torn piece of carpet, perhaps I could sneak through and get underneath the house - I'd be safe! I looked for where havoc was continuing, he was on the search for me, he wanted me dead. Quickly (and uncoordinatedly) I pushed my way between the boards, my head was the last thing to slip through, I hoped only that I hadn't been spotted.
Within complete darkness...
Strong, heavy footsteps above me wandered around. He was more mad than before, stomping around; keen to find and kill me. A loud crack was heard, he'd found that weak board and I felt him pounding with a large fist down against my flimsy shelter. Dust and woodchips were sprinkling. A massive fist reached right through the planks of wood with a gigantic punch! The hand grabbed hold of the freshly smashed opening, and ripped it right off and into the air...
I stood before the gorilla now. As he beat his chest, there I was deep within the dark corner, uncovered, but trapped! His hand slowly reached down towards me, down, further and further. Sweat poured down my temple. His palm opened as his firey red eyes glared into mine. I couldn't look away, his hand touched my shoulder. And the beast said cheerfully with a large grin...
"Tip! You're in!"
[End]
Email if you wish to contact me for whatever reason.
That's a pretty good story to tell when people are telling their pointless "ghost stories", Comments are turned on for anyone who wishes to write something creative. 2006/4/21 FACK MSN SpacesFACK MSN SPACES
I just want to say, that the HACK MSN Guy, is awesome. You know why he's awesome, dear blog? (screw you readers). He's awesome because he deals with people's garbage day in and day out for free. What a guy.
But FIRST! Go here: http://spaces.msn.com/BOB-HQ/ (Hold shift when clicking, and see how worthy this space is of linking to "Blogs of Brilliance" YOU could be one them!), us literate folk are all welcome to join to make browsing MSN Spaces a LOT less nausiating. Heck, maybe even.. ENJOYABLE *GASPSHOCKHORROR*
These are some comments that I once left our hero, HACK MSN GUY:
Greetings sir,
You are just flooding with information, I really should watch less explicit images, and more of your informative articles!
Yes, the XBox 360 should be a delight for the drooling nerds that couldn't get enough of "Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball" I was interested to find out that it's not the only game that was released for Xbox, although it was clearly the only necessary one.
Now, "Why are you commenting my space? You freak?" I hear you enquire! To which I say, "Quiet monkey! I'll comment wherever I darn well please!
Your space, it's greatness blinds me as much as napalm would if poured upon my eyes and ignited. That's how damn great it is. In fact, I daresay that this space is even worthy of an Awesomeness Award™.
Speaking of awards, I see that I am far too late to submit the duet, which plays on my space as a reminder to all that innapropriate male passion will continue to freak people out, with "Earl and Tony- Love Tragedy", it's an award winner in itself, although poorly recorded, poorly sung, and well just plain poor.
Oh well, it served it's purpose. I am now your slave. Yep! I'm your slave I am. Shine your boots Guv'nor?
Anyway, I best be off rather than ramble coherently.
Sincerely, Jesus.
Er, I mean Adrian, but I have ego problems.
And now that my blue text has damaged your vision slightly... EAT GREEN, MO'FO.
BY THE WAY!
Why the bloody hell are people commenting in Spanish?
Why the bloody hell are people asking questions when you clearly stated you went away? People are idiots.
YES! PEOPLE = IDIOTS! YOU HEARD ME!
: ] k, thanks, bye.
PS: My questions were rhetorical, so don't point out the irony of my asking questions. If you need help, take some damn time out of your busy schedules of downloading animal explicit images, and just look through the links on the right hand side of the page.
If you need links to sites for Media player, just browse Google for the song you want, and when you find it, the URL (web adress) will have either "wma" or "mp3" at the end of it, and nothing else! (not "htm") understand? I didn't think so...
You people are slow...
Dear oh dear. Search "animal pictures" in Google.
PS: You are liable for your own stupid actions, but you all seem rather impressionable.
PPS: I used to update at least weekly, and now people find my page accidently by searching for "-------", "Paris Hilton" and "---- pics" in Google. YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK! GOD DAMN!
And now you are blind.
Later on, he added me. Hooray for that eh? He's mega cool. And if you think the retards asking him the same questions time and time again makes him angry; you're right! But he's polite on his page, unlike me.
Dev-HACK MSN GUY says:
"omg lyk Hi dev, your space is good. plz come to mine and tell me whta else i can do. to make mine as good as yours.
Adrian says:
Do you have time to visit 329876239864 spaces? Dev-HACK MSN GUY says:
F***ing retards.. Yes, when they ask "how do you get a media player" or "where is the notepad" I feel like telling them to f*** off.. well I will send them to your space. And they will realise how f***ing dumb they are! Sir, this blog's dedicated to you. Enjoy your day.
adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au email questions or complaints.
Dev is a legend: http://spaces.msn.com/d3vmax/
Brilliant Blogs: http://spaces.msn.com/BOB-HQ/ Check it out, man.
2006/4/20 Cyber is RidiculousKateh says: Write a blog about how ridiculous cyber sex is. This blog is written for Kateh.
Login: coolboy34893234987
Pass: ************* [You Are Logged In]
Folder >Chat Rooms > Teen Romance
[Welcome to teen romance! Some like it hot, other's like it dirrrty]
Some_Guy_69: H R U SPEEK INGLISH R U ME 4 NOIC TEB U R MARRY ME? 43/m/egpty
[Some_Guy_69 has been set to ignore]
sxc_big_boobs: Hiiiiiii!!!!! 12/f/aus hot guys plz msg me. i have cam!!!
omg_wtf_bbq: So yeah, anyway, I says to mabel I says...
133t_h4xx0r: Yeah dude, this room's totally dead aye...
coolboy34893234987: So hey there and stuff.. um, I'm kinda new to this... I'm sorta lookin' for a girl who's busty, fair hair, who might wanna cyber?
[Cyber_Babe has started a private message window with you]
Cyber_Babe: Heya there, big fella. age/sex/location?
coolboy34893234987: Er I'm 18/male/ Australia, nice to meet you..
Cyber_Babe: Oh okay, well I'm 18/f/Australia too. Barely legal ;) Wanna cyber? *licks your ear*
coolboy34893234987: Well actually I'm just looking for pics and stuff...what do you look like anyway?
Cyber_Babe: Hmm alright, hang on, I'll send you a picture...
[Cyber_Babe has sent you a JPEG file]
Click here to view image (hold shift and click to open in new window)
coolboy34893234987: WHOA! OH MY GOSH! YOU'RE SO HOTT! I WANNA DO YOU!!!
Cyber_Babe: Yeah it's not a very good picture of me = [ Sorry... my ex-girlfriend took it when we were just foolin' around...
coolboy34893234987: YOU ARE F***** HAWT AS, BABE. Anyone would wanna bone you!
Cyber_Babe: *Sits on your lap, 'n' starts kissin' you while rocking back 'n' forth gently* Wow, you're so romantic...
coolboy34893234987: Er... my lap's still empty... I don't get it.
Cyber_Babe: *Slips free of her clothes! And undoing your clothes, havin' a little fun as I go along*
coolboy34893234987: Wait on, I don't get it... you can't take off my clothes... my clothes are still on... and I don't see no clothes-less hott babe sitting on me!
Cyber_Babe: You're supposed to use your imagination, silly... just think of what it would be like... these thoughts should make you very 'happy' if you know what I mean ;).
coolboy34893234987: Oh... my imagination? Wow, you're right... that is hott...
Cyber_Babe: Uh huh, sure is, you like it?
coolboy34893234987: Wait, what do I get out of this?
Cyber_Babe: The satisfaction of making love to a grotty old man without knowing it.
coolboy34893234987: What do you mean?
Cyber_Babe: I'm a man, 43/m/Australia. You sick f***.
coolboy34893234987: A what?
[Cyber_Babe has sent you a JPEG file]
Click here to view new image (Hold shift and click to open in new window)
Cyber_Babe: That's me. My name is Earl. HAHAHAAH!
coolboy34893234987: WHAT THE F***??!?!?!?!??!?!
Cyber_Babe: Still wanna cyber?
coolboy34893234987: ASDKJFLHALWKEJFHASLDJFH F no!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
Cyber_Babe: Sweet dreams. *kiss*
coolboy34893234987: AHHHH!!
[You have blocked "Earl", thinking your problems are solved, but become paranoid that your secret may become exposed... or that he'll find that profile picture of you, and grab your address after doing sick things to your picture. Yes, you're screwed.]
And they all lived happily ever after... 'cept coolboy and big_boobs since they were morons.
[END]
adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au email questions or complaints
Old classic blog on this topic is HERE.
Even if you KNOW the person, cyber is still stupid. Cut it out, get a life you pathetic scumbags. Earl will hack your friends accounts, and steal your heart without you knowing it.
May his gentle lisp and horribly deformed face haunt you forever, you anxious little monkeys.
Go get some fresh air or something. Instead of fake kissing some hermit with down syndrome. 2006/4/13 But I Didn't Even Pay The Ferryman "Row row row ya boat," the old man cheerfully sang out to Alf, who was standing on dry land watching this senile git in confusion, and before he could raise a brow and shout;
"What the hell?!", the little old man interrupted his thinking (or lack thereof);
"Wanna ride there, matey?" he requested with eyes wide open, and an overly eager grin.
"Er, I do believe I've got, er..." Alf began to stumble.
"Oh c'mon, I can take ya downstream and back again - jus' a bit o' fun!"
"But - oh alright then," replied the beaten Alf with a sigh, "but I must say that this journey is somewhat unexpected" he added blatently (for purposes of meeting syllabus requirements for the the topic of 'Journeys' in the Higher School Certificate, NSW, Australia).
The crazily joyful man rowed his little dingy to the place where Alf had been confused. He now had a new place to be confused; right inside the boat with a man he didn't even know the name of : -
"I'm Walter, but you can call me 'Sea-ewe'" came a creepily instant reply to his train of thought.
"What the hell?" thought Alf to himself in confusion. Suddenly the old man rose to his feet (rocking the boat a little), dived straight into the water... and didn't come back up to the surface. "Oh, 'see you', I get it..." Alf had always been such a clever lad.
Alf stared blankly for several hours, "what the heck" had been the only words to come to mind. He knew he had to extend his vocabulary. At that moment, he heard a noise, which woke him from his trance -
"HOLY MOLEY! WHERE AM I?!" he exclaimed to noone in particular, but still proud to show off the new expression he'd developed.
He was quite literally up the creek without a paddle now, in fact, he had two paddles, and boy did he start using them when he realised he was about to fall a great many metres down a waterfall!
The water beneath him churned rapids, foaming and drowning out all other noises he'd be able to make with his extensive vocabulary.
" ---- !" he exclaimed, what could have only been a swear word, unheard above the noise of this grand waterfall.
It sucked to be alone, especially when falling a great distance into white water - which was probably concealing pointy rocks of some kind. Alf's uneventful life flashed before his eyes in seconds - (hey, I told you it was uneventful).
What followed then went something like this:
"AHHHHHHHH!!!" Alf took a lung full of air and continued, "AHHHHHHH!!!" Alf then took a lung full of water and discontinued; what a clever chap.
Alf's life ended that day (I told you there were pointy rocks, it's your own fault if you didn't believe me), and all we know, is the very last words that passed our friend, Alf's lips were...
"Damn, I knew I should have payed the ferryman..."
[End]
© Brittany Little + Adrian Snrub This was an unusual non-Maddoxey entry, written under exam conditions. I posted it here because I felt like it. So nyeah. Yes, I felt like being childish. Cram it in your ear. You will NOT find pajazo ice cream on this page anymore... go elsewhere.
E-mail me if you wish to add me to MSN, no more of this bullcrap giving out Adrian's hotmail address stuff. Got it? Good.
Other news: Film series 'The Scary Jester Scary Thing' recorded by Tim Flaps, Adrian Snrub, and Blackett Blackett are in production at the moment. Also 'Emo Effing Anthem' (a Good Charlotte ripoff) has been successfully recorded as has 'Requiem of a Broken Heart: The Ballad of Incoherence'. Expect them to be crap, and never to be released publically. 2006/4/9 I'm Angry. Damned Angry.The winner of the infrequent YOU SUCK Awards, goes to...
Awful, simply aweful. I've never before witnessed such a travesty in all my life. Oh what a travesty, the travesty of it all in all it's traverseness.
I need more adjectives. Oh yeah, how about 'crap'?
Let's take a look shall we? Beware!
I'm almost certain that you (my reader) want to stab her already. And assuming that you could read through that strikethrough (which she has to go out of her way to copy and paste from Microsoft Word, yeah I know, what a cow) I'm sure you'd agree with her view on what's best for society. (ooh nasty).
ok ppl
new words
EMOISM && EMOIST
like sexism && sexist
&& racism && racist
So Dont Be Emoist Towards Us
Thankyou For Your Time
Right.
1. Don't Capitalise The Beginning Of Every Damned Word. It's Annoyingly Poor Grammar, You Ignorant Moron.
2. Lower the damned font, we're not blind,
but we certainly will be after reading that aweful blogpage. 3. Do you stutter? Is there a reason to write 'and and' all the time?
4. Don't be EMOIST towards 'us'? Who's "us"? There's an emo movement now? Oh shit! Down with COMMUNISM, down with EMOISM, biatches.
Emo-Nazi Propoganda Poster 2000-2006.
Thanks to Tim and Ben
Now back to the space. And how angry it makes me just to look at it.
Yes, unfortunately. You will stop at nothing, will you?
I'm wondering if all these randomly highlighted words are hiding a subliminal message of some kind.... Here, I'll show you what I mean...
Damned Satanists. Stop typing like freaks.
The comments on this page range from anything as intelligent as 'hey u came to my space so here im commenting" to "OmGg, This.Space.Is.Teh.Sex.You.Rock.Muh.Sox.<33" and the even less intelligent "OMG LYK U EMO EFFING COWS I H8 EMOS THEY SHUD DIEE!! LOLZ! N YER! DAMNED EMOS!"
You're all as daft and blind as eachother. Stop glorifying depression, asshats.
adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au email your complaints, rather than leaving gutless anonymous comments.
Yes, I'm back to blogging again. I no longer care if anyone reads this, go screw yourself if you ARE reading it. It's my page, comments are switched off, permanantly, and this blogpage will hopefully have less ranting, and more Hobo Metal, more Creative Funny Stories, and less pajazo ice cream.
Note that the 'Satanic Emokid' entry example took me 30 damned minutes to write, thus making me hate the owner of that webpage even more. Screw your crazy writing.
Enjoy your day. I'll write when I damned well want to. 2006/3/26 A Quiz, Designed By Me, Because You All Suck (Don't Think I'm Not Talking To You)This is not an ACTUAL quiz, just read it. I wrote it myself, and hopefully by the end you will realise just how stupid it is to send these frickin' things to your so called, friends. You can send me angry mail later.
OMG LYK WUT PERSONNALLITI R U?????!!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Personallity test for people without personallities
What's your favourite colour?
1) Vomit
2) Runny Poo
3) Yes those are your only options
Who do you want to marry most?
1) Chewbacca
2) Horrace the Hobo
3) UR MOM (Your mother)
What's your starsign?
1) No idea
2) Doesn't matter
3) Who gives a crap
Where do you live?
1) Not telling
2) Go screw yourself, you pedo
3) I'm calling the police
Would /have you ever had sex with a non-human organism?
1) Yes
2) Yes
3) Yes
Were you dropped on your head at birth?
1) My parents say I was
2) A few times, yes (attempted suicide 'cause I'm hardXcore emo yo')
3) I like rice?
Z) DFLKJSDHF LWEKJH SDLKJFH SDFLK H HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Did you just write a spot for your own answer in the previous question?
1) This is true
2) Maybe
3) Not tellin'
What the f*ck is wrong with you?
1) Vitamin deficiency or Epilepsy
2) Down Syndrome
3) See 'dropped on head at birth'
Why do you write/ fill out these crappy quizzes?
1) Told to, and I obey because I'm communist
2) Dunno, felt like making myself bored, while knocking some numbers off my already low IQ
3) Wanted to show people what a dipshit I am, and how I lack a personallity.
What's your favourite movie?
1) NAPOLEEN DONIMIGHT
2) nerpolian dinamiiite
3) NaPoLiAn DyNaMiTe
You didn't just say 'Napoleon Dynamite' did you? That movie was crap!
1) I'm sorry
2) Forgive me oh Lord, for I have sinned
3) You're right, I hang my head in shame, got a length of rope?
Did you know that at the end of 'Saw 1' that the guy who's dead on the floor isn't really dead, and then he kills the two good guys, as well as the guy who seems to be running things at first?
1) You bastard!
2) I havn't seen that movie yet!
3) WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!
What music do you listen to?
1) Not Simple Plan
2) What are you looking at me like that for?
3) No, I've never seen those albums hidden under my bed before in my life, I swear!
Ever taken drugs?
1) No
2) Pfft, c'mon, what kind of a fool do you take me for?
2) Alright, fine! Yes! Happy?!
What turns you on?
1) Fat people
2) Animals
3) Fat animals
YOUR RESULT IS...
"YOU MAKE ME SICK! NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!"
You have shown the world what a disgusting human being you are, go on, crawl back inside your cage and come back out when you grow a personallity.
Your options are really quite simple. Don't send Adrian Snrub any more stupid quizzes, or questionaires and maybe, just maybe you will be spared of his abuse.
Grow a brain, you've won the Dipshit Award ™ for showing us all just how inferior the human race can be.
2006/3/19 Tell Napoleon Dynamite, that I hate his face, very, very much.DON'T SEE NAPOLEON DYNAMITE! HERE'S WHY NOT:
I'm sure you've already been forced to see that atrocious 'Napoleon Dynamite' in all it's RANDUMNESS LOL. I hate that movie so damned much.
Nah, I turned it off halfway and returned it
Good girl. I'm telling you, you missed NOTHING. NOTHING I tell you!
Thanks, I'm ashamed that it's on my record at the video store that I borrowed it : [
So you should be. I couldn't even stomach to watch 15 minutes of it, when I tried to watch it a second time so I could write and angry blog about it. I seriously. Just. Couldn't. Hack. It. D : It's a bloody terrible movie, not even funny, and worse yet, not even satirical/ meaningful. If you don't find the 'jokes' funny, there's NOTHING left for you. NOTHING! *Settles down* D : I'm okay, I'mokay.
Hehehehe *Strokes your head* There there Adrian, it's over now. *cries* It's just... so bad. And not as in "HAHA IT's so stupid, it's funny!" No, it's so stupid, that I want to strangle the damned director/ writer. That's how stupid it is. None of this damn 'funni LOL' business. 'Tis bullshit. The only thing more dissapointing than the film itself, was the fact that I couldn't KILL any of the characters who were on the screen for more than 2 freaking hours. >: - O What's worse yet, is people 'immitating' and 'quoting' the movie, as if they're funny?! GOSH! LOL YER! Hilarious, asshats. Now cram it. I'd heard just about every quote from the movie, before I even saw it. So here I was, expecting humourous timings and deliveries, only to be disspointed by a snot nosed kid in need of a hiding. I hate him. I HATE him. So then, whilst everyone was quoting these lines, and I hadn't even seen the film, but could link them to that movie, I thought 'Hey, you know what? Maybe I'll see it, just so I know what they're talking about, and I can be a part of the joke' Let me tell you. It's not worth it. Even if Julia Robert's severed head came free with that DVD, if I had my time again, I STILL would not have taken it. I sat through that film in agonising pain, clinging to the hope of 'hey, maybe this will get better, yaknow? Like, maybe it will pick up?' It doesn't. I was grossly dissapointed. I feel like an idiot for having seen it. I felt so ripped off. Why do I give a flying f*** if some guy makes class president? Why should I care? Exactly. I don't. DAMNED YOU NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, YOU'VE NOW MADE ME CUSS OUT A FICTIONAL SET OF CHARACTERS! I need a cigarette*. I'll be back in ten.
Okay, I'm back, now, where was I? Oh no, not this God aweful movie. Rant over! Forget it! Someone's passionate about their hate of a certain movie that will remain unnamed.. Just slightly. D : *sighs* Wow.. I don't think I will ever... EVER bring up that movie again in a conversation with you Touche'.
adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au
DON'T SEE 'NAPOLEON DYNAMITE'! I'M FREAKING SERIOUS! If I'm already too late, God speed your journey to heaven, brave soldiers.
* I don't smoke, Get over it.
These are quotes from the first 15 minutes of the movie. I'm sorry, I just couldn't watch anymore. I considered it mental suicide. These quotes speak for themselves and should show you why you're not missing much by leaving the movie on the shelf, or better yet, exploding the video store:
adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au I'm sorry you had to witness that outburst. I needed to unleash this witless slur, for my sake, not yours. Cram it. I now feel so relieved, it's wonderful : ] You're not supposed to find the quotes funny, their seeming 'randomness' is how the movie is structured, which makes it utter crap. 2006/3/17 Hilarious album for you to download... >; [ OR DIE!Click these links (song titles), and download my damned songs already - they're free and Hobocore.
Just do it? Okay? Okay! We are the 'Trashcan of Deception' here to make you wish emos were dead.
* Particularly offensive tracks
* Fairly clean, PG rated anyway
* Middle range
1. Introduction to Hobo Metal (2:18) *
2. While My Rat Painfully Cooks (1:59) * 3. Earl and Tony - Love Tragedy (3:58) * 4. PAJAZO (0:03) * 5. PussyMan (4:56) * 6. Wake Me Up When This Crap Song Ends (4:29) * 7. Pajazo Ressurection (0:03) * 8. Eatin' Babys (3:08) * 9. Black Soul- A Hobo Ray Charles Tale (4:24) * 10. Hittin' Da Bricks Wif a Stick (2:17) * 11. Jews (0:03) * 12. (Somewhere in the) Trashcan of Deception (3:54) * To go straight to the band's homepage, copy and paste this link and give it to your friends:
This is only the FIRST of what the world hopes to be one of very, very few albums "The Prophecy From Out The Front of Clints" Enjoy.
Lyrics can be found in the homepage - somewhere! (Yes, I was surprised to find we had lyrics too)
Disclaimer: We are not held responsible for our responsibilities - such as you going deaf from the "music".
2006/3/4 Harry Potter Sucks. There: I said it.Let's get right to the point now, shall we?
I'm sick and tired of hearing all this crap like 'omygawwd I sooo luurve Daniel Radcliffe/ Rupert Grint/ Emma Watson/ or Tom Felton!!11111!!'
Tom Felton plays the 'bad guy' anyway (Draco Malfoy), the kid who's even more of a little shit than the heroes. You're supposed to hate him.
This is now your turn, to shut the hell up and let me speak. I'm tempted to turn comments off again, so that I don't hear all this 'omygawwd shuttup ur just ghey adrien u havn even seend it!!11!!
Guess what asshole? I have seen the movies, and read the books. And I'm glad I didn't pay anything for them. Very glad. They were crap. Yes crap. Get over it.
Now, apart from these pimply kids who are apparently the hottest thing on the planet, (along with their poor acting abilities) what's to like about them? I sat through the first two movies thinking 'Gah, their voices, so squeaky, make it stop before I kill something, or someone'. Later to be dissapointed by two more abysmal feature films.
'well at leest da books were gud aye? yer da movies did suk but da books were da best eva!1!!!!!'
Let me respond to this with the marvellous 'Harry Potter Font'...
There. Get the message yet? Nothing you say will make those books go from 'shithouse' to 'good' in the duration of a comment on this blog, so don't even try. Also, me calling you an 'idiot' is not 'soo funni becoz dat woz on napoleen dinamite HAHAHAHAHAH'. Napoleon Dynamite was even poorer quality entertainment than the Harry Potter movies. I don't want to hear any more of it.
I mean sure, I hold a lot of respect for a teenage protagonist who goes around being rewarded for being a little snot. And sure, I love reading about teenagers making out, while they go to imaginary school, BUT I SURE DON'T LOVE READING 'HARRY POTTER'.
Whoa, capital letters, I know what you're all thinking by now: 'kk settle down dood lol iz it dat time of da month or sumfink? lol'
How does 'no' grab you? Does it grab you by the balls and shake you until you wish you were never born a man? (Stolen quote from a movie I haven't even seen, suck it)
Now, I've only had the stomach to read each book once. Want my reviews? Too bad! They're here anyway!
Book 1: Fair story, strategically marketed, annoying characters, poorly written.
Book 2: Fair story, strategically marketed, same characters, poorly written. Book 3: Lame story, strategically marketed, whiney characters, poorly written. Book 4: Long story, strategically marketed, same characters, poorly written. Book 5: Crap story, suckers bought it anyway, want Harry to die, poorly written.
Book 6: Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap - Why did I read it? I have no idea.
Now, it won't matter if 'Harry Potter and the Ridiculous Plotline' (aka Book 7) is approximately 4 pages long, has no spelling corrections, or plot line. You'll buy it anyway, for $700, because you're a moron.
I intend to get T-shirts printed..
"Harry Potter Fans Suck Balls"
Then I'll go down to the book store on the final book's release and let loose at some nerds. Either alone, or with 'members' I'll throw some punches at nerds, just like the good ol' days aye? I intend on starting a riot. Disclaimer to any authoritarian figures: "I hereby declare that I will not start a riot....*cough cough*."
Also, I'll pick the book up in the store, force myself to read the final two chapters, and then shout at all the nerds who are nearly halfway though and tell them:
"Voldemort is Harry Skywalker's Father!"
Well, you know what I mean, and the cool thing is, it won't cost me a cent.
I don't think the books are 'witchcraft', or 'blasphemy', or 'Satanic' or any of that other stuff that people are trying to put over. Having a snot-nosed dipshit for the 'hero' isn't much of a role model to the dopey readers though, who now think it's 'kewliez' to go out at night. Let's see who laughs when you get BUTTSECKZ'D!
The books are just 'shit'. Why can't you accept that? I don't care how it ends, I can live without reading it.
adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au
PS: Some people think Harry Potter is real. I laugh in their middle aged faces. In other news: The song competition winners were picked and are listed at the bottom of the previous entry.
PPS: None of this "each to their own" business, if you don't agree with me, you are wrong. It's really that simple. 2006/2/26 Competition.Examples?
* Sing a death metal cover of a religious song.
* Sing a barber shop quartet about loving Satan.
* Sing an offensive rap song about loving Jesus.
* Sing a Beatles song, and change the lyrics to 'buttseckz'n knomes'.
We'll do anything if it sounds brilliant.
(Album 2: Tempest in the Back Alley Near Coles)
* Another Introduction
* In The Trashcan (Roadrunner United cover)
* Early, Be Good (Think: Johnny B. Goode)
* F*** The B*****s, Motherf***** (Censor: Treat The Women With Respect)
* Symphany of Gay Hatred (Megadeth Cover)
* Jew-ality (Slipknot Cover)
* Heathen in a Christian School
* Nerds on Fire (HammerFall Cover)
* + "Help I'm stuck in a CD factory'
+ 'Poo Poo For You'
+ 'Mein Kamf, Our Bible'
* Possible 'Anal C***' cover.
* Possibly 'The Beatles' cover (just to butcher a perfectly good song) So, now we're at the end of a freaking lazy blog entry, feeling mighty ripped off, and disapointed with the absense of freaky pictures.
Screw your pictures!
Techno is crap, and doesn't even have a 'tune'. Forget it.
1. Brugg: Title: "Help am stuck in a CD factory (please send help)"
Tune: "Dear God help me, I'm fucking serious, this isn't a song!"
2. Monty: Theme: "setting pigeons and monkey faeces on fire,
and lobbing them at assorted figured of authority ... Teachers... Presidents... Lesbians... And the true rulers of the world: Zombie buffalo." Tune: "I Am The Walrus" (The Beatles)
3. Richard: Theme: " the similarities of nazism and religion like
the swastika and the crucifix and the bible to mein kampf Tune: "Power/Death Metal" Each of these complete bloody legends will receive a signed copy of our crappy, crappy CD. We'll be sure to send it once we print out some cheap labels. Enjoy your day. 2006/2/19 The Emo-dile HunterCrikey!
We went into the harsh outback, into a small town known as Dubbo. We had been informed of TWO rare species of emo. After a long search and some thumbs bein' jammed up tha emo's bitt-'oles (butt-holes, for you jerks who don't know how Steve Irwin talks), these are our findings...
The Jewish Emo: Sookias Fagatias
Not much is known about the 'sookias fagatias' apart from the fact that they hang around malls looking for girls and/or guys and/ or pornography. Little is known about it, which is why it's our aim to capture and kill this low life son of a bitch. Crikey! Just make sure he doesn't grab ya by the dangle-doos!
What we do, is set a simple trap at the bottom of this here escalator, hoping that the Jewish Emo will sniff out the bait (a razor blade, the emo's favourite tool) then we can jump 'im! We'll have to be very quiet not to scare 'im though...roight, now let's go hide...
EMO! GET HIM!
The chase is on, and his girly legs don't carry 'im very far at all.
"Now watch me jam me thumb in his bitt-'ole" The Gay Matrix Emo: Neosis Wanna-Beas
Roight, now we've been informed of another kind of emo, the Gay Matrix Emo, aka the 'Neosis Wanna-Beas', usually found wearing Hawaiyan shirts, and gay 'Neo' glasses. The typical sook often thinks they're goth, and may look like he's fresh from "The Blair Emo Bitch Project".
"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG My girlfriend like totally dumped me today and I'm so emo, I wish she wouldn't do it, I'm so sad... There's hunters out here tonight..."
EMO! GIT 'IM!
Bloody hell he's gone! Okay quick keep goin'! Steve takes a dive, he's taken him down! Wait, he's back up again! Cheeky little bastard! He's out smarted us for now.. Oi Wait! He's tripped!
Now, watch me jam me thumb in his bitt-'ole!
...
[The aftermath]
Roight, now THIS is the aftermath... it seems the emo got me and it seems I've been injected with his venom too. Which means I've got 24 hours, until I'm a sooky emo meself....
OI'm farked! Written by Tim Flaps, and Adrian Snrub.
Oh yeah, and Kyle Moot helped film.
(04) 27 865 201 (Australia only)
I'm fearless/ stupid/ welcome angry calls at all hours of the night. They keep me amused. 2006/2/15 Adventures of Adri-han!'ADRI-HAN Z' PART I
(Er, there is only one part, and will only EVER be one part unless I'm a liarface, which, I almost certainly am. If you don't know what Dragonball Z is, you're lucky, don't watch it. This is a crap parody. Enjoy.)
The muscle-bound Adri-han awoke, having a breakfast of razor blades, a shower of acid, and a quick shave with a chainsaw - mostly just to prove how hardcore he was compared to every other Japanese cartoon character. (No, it's not called 'anime', shuttup, no, seriously, shuttup they're called cartoons and this is MY story)
"IT SEEMS WE ARE OUT OF MILK!" Adri-han exclaimed loudly to no-one in particular as he punched the refridgerator into one thousand pieces. (A tally of three hundred and fifty two dead councellors was a sure sign that his anger management classes... had not been going well at all.)
Adri-han 'transported' himself in seconds (despite laws of physics, relativity, and thermo-dynamics) just so that the kids with ADD wouldn't get bored too quickly. He did so with an array of flashing lights: confusing, blinding, and incedently KILLING some nearby stoners who just happened to be watching this 'totally trippy fireworks crap, man'. Great. Now Adri-han's suit was dirty. Not even a mega-ultra-chin-chow-chewy-cleaning-crap-michael-jackson-attack could possibly remove those nasty blood stains.
"WE MEET AGAIN!" Adri-han shouted threateningly at the store clerk.
"Er, pardon me?" came the polite and somewhat confused reply. "LET US TALK FOR TWENTY MINUTES BEFORE ACTUALLY FIGHTING!" he intruded, sounding increasingly constipated. "We have a score to settle, Adri-han" murmered a quiet voice from behind. Adri-han turned quickly, in a poorly animated fashion to stand face to face with none other, than Supersaiyan Jesus.
Wait, did I say Jesus murmered? No way! He's too 'EXTREME' to murmer, let's try that again: TAKE TWO!
"WE HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE, ADRI-HAN, YOU SON OF A WHORE!"
"JESUS, NO, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"
"I WAS!" "HOW CAN THIS BE?" "ER, IDIOT, THIS CRAP ALWAYS HAPPENS ON THIS SHOW!" ... "OH YEAH, ENOUGH WITH THE CHIT-CHAT, LET'S FIGHT!"
[Stay tuned for the next uneventful episode of ADRI-HAN Z!]
Next week:
"BWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHH!"
"HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "LIGHTNING!"
"PAJAZO!" Adri-han waited for Supersaiyan Jesus to take 5 minutes simply to say the name of the attack He was about to perform, Adri-han stood and watched in complete silence, oh, apart from the screaming that he was part-taking in to express rage/ or possibly the crapping of the panties.
A giant ball of poorly animated flashing lights, or possibly fire hurled towards Adri-han at a tremendously slow pace, and rather than get out of the way, Adri-han thought it would be cooler to wait so that he could dodge such a meteor at the last moment to look impressive. He failed miserably. And died.
Then he came back to life for no-apparent reason and died again.
Then Supersaiyan Jesus powered up.
Then Adri-han powered up, making previous powerup pretty pointless. Also there was a plot gap in which he is no-longer dead. We don't know why either, sorry.
[Insert flashing lights here]
[End]
Some guy on weed says:
Whoa.
For my old and popular blog on Japanese cartoons click here. 2006/2/12 Crappiest Crap I Ever CrappedCrappiest Crap I Ever Crapped
As you can see by the title of this blog, I am in gross need of a thesaurus, oh hark! What say you? Search Google? Done and done my good man/ lady / transvestite!
Side note: Transvestites scare me. I saw one in Sydney during my excursion, it was some guy on female hormones, or some chick on male ones...either way, a 'muscle-bound-effeminate' is a scary, scary site. I thought she was either going to eat me, or rape me. Oh how I flatter myself sometimes...
Nasty.
Anyway, while playing a game of 'Spot the non-gays who aren't Asian' and being disappointed with the results tallying at approximately: 0, we wandered the street, inhaling the glorious pollution, and keeping our eyes off the Prostitots (err, little girls that dress like skanks because it's kEwLiEz to attract people like Earl, well, apparently anyway).
Did I mention I hate Sydney? Well, it's definitely got more to offer than Dubbo, I haven't seen so many adult 'book' stores around here...
Why did I go? Well it would seem that I needed to go on the same excursion I went on last year, because of 'Shuttup, it's compulsory' - That's why. It was for Drama. Gah. You know what kind of guy does drama?
Glaben! Video games compared with the ...blah blah blah...
Oh yes, and we mustn't forget to remember that, but also the 'bogans mate' who are there for the 'chicks'.
Deerr... let's hug babe. So I can look at your ass and touch you so that you think you’re special when I really just do this to everyone.
What about the girls?
Oh my gawwwd I soo lurve hott guys, one like, fully came up to me, and was like 'hey' and I was like 'hi there' and then we was like 'hehe'.
Well surely with such a busy schedule planned of visiting theatres and workshops, after all this hard work of sitting down, the teachers felt like taking us to 'Broadway', a shopping centre, to please the kids with ADD (and surprisingly massive wallets for people on McDonalds wages).
OH MY GOSH I SO WANT TO DO SOME CLOTHES SHOPPING!!!
Oh my gosh, I so want to stab you in the neck, but I don't get what I want, Do I? No. Shuttup you damn shallow people who fail to realise that they already look fine. My bet is that 'hott chicks' just say they're ugly to make 'ugly chicks' feel even worse about themselves. Congratulations, I hope your perfume contains some form of lead.
Oh gee Adrian; you must be gay or somethink if you don't like hott chicks!
No, screw you. It doesn't matter how 'hawt' you are, or think you are, if you are a total-pretentious-pain-in-the-ass then you're not really all that fun to be around, are you?
Ah, sweet rhetorical questions, how I do love thee.
Shall we end here, before I get angry?
Yes, let's.
Wait: Here are the synonyms for 'crap' as found through Google:
Poo, crap, shit, excrete, faeces, droppings, pat, dung, compost, manure, poop, abysmal, poor, bull, bad, unsatisfactory, cheap, lousy, miserable, paltry, rotten, shoddy, trashy, crummy, Brittany Speares, measly, pathetic, piteous, pitiable, pitiful, rueful, balderdash, garbage, nonsense, poppycock, rubbish, twaddle, applesauce, Callan's blogs, baloney, hooey, malarkey.
Eww, sounds like emokid poetry to me.
Cheerio.
adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au
PS: None of you made any decent suggestions for what I should write about, my blog which requests your assistance has proven useless, you suck, no don't exclude yourself and believe I'm not talking to you. You really do suck. The crap blog will be removed.
2006/2/4 I'll Spellcheck My Blogs When You Drink Paint Thinner.Lord of the Blogs, Adrian Snrub, feels tired, and uninspired, I'll be back when I have some inspiration, for now it's time for coffee.
WOO! I'm back, let me just say that:
- 2 teaspoons sugar
- 1 teaspoon raw cocoa
- 1 teaspoon coffee
- 2/3 Milk
- 1/3 boiling water
Mix, and it will taste freaking filthy, but I must say that it's revived my liveliness!
Viva La Blog!
You know what? No, you don't know what because I haven't told you yet. Sit down. It's really strange to see that my band is already at number #2 on www.mp3.com.au/TrashcanofDeception seriously, what the bloody hell? MY SONGS ARE CRAP! ARE YOU PEOPLE RETARDED?
The obvious answer here would be:
"Why yes Adrian, we are"
Our hobo metal band is focused on being as crap as is humanly possible, in fact half the time we don't even play any instruments. We just rip music off other artists and remove their lyrics and insert our own.
Screw you and your copyright.
I've been asked many times what kind of music I listen to, to which I reply with "none". Is that simple enough?
"OMG LIKE, HOW CAN YOU NOT LISTEN TO MUSIC?"
It's simple really, you clod. I don't download any, and I don't buy any. Yes? Understand?
"NO"
"Oh look, there's a butterfly, go chase it"
"OKAY!"
Did I mention people are idiots? Yes, yes I did.
Now it's time for me to adress the select few who complain about the occasional misspelled words of mine. I tend to spell 'habits' and 'coming' incorrectly, as the education system no longer teaches me such things, and I fail to utilise Microsoft Word as it removes the 'auto formatting' features of typing my blog entries in the little lagging window.
I think I spell, and write with pretty damned good grammar. It may not be exceptional, but at least you can read it, so quit complaining. The title of this blog is stolen from Monty, my #1 loved face winner, who holds a space which maintains the interest of anyone who doesn't have a learning disability. Congratulations sir.
I think we've had about 150 downloads of our songs so far, people clicking the little green buttons, and finding themselves incredibly confused. At least it gave me something to do, something that didn't involve browsing MSN spaces to be dissapointed at all the sparkly crap and unimportant dialogue "omg i luff brett".
Sickening. Simply sickening. I think I might take Monty's advice and just pour bleach/ napalm all over my eyes so I never have to witness this idiocy again*.
*I do not recommend you do the same. I hear it's quite painful, no idea why I get that impression though...
Now, lately i've been pretty damned lazy, who am I kidding, 'lately', ha. (Er, for anyone who doesn't get it, I'm always lazy). This of course means that I haven't been able to soil inside your ears (what a horrid thought) with more vicious hobo metal.
All downloads are free http://spaces.msn.com/TrashcanofDeception/ hopefully I'll add the listed songs to the list soon, for now, you can enjoy "PussyMan" if you have not heard it already. I assure you, it's as awful as it sounds.
Also if you would like a good laugh, I suggest you go to this space http://spaces.msn.com/callant/ .... and laugh at him. Oh so evil.
Cheerio!
Email any complaints, compliments, or requests. Or you could just leave a gutless anonymous insult such as 'ya weird mate'.
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