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12/30/2005 Tutorial for Angsty Bloggers.You don't deserve a funny blog, therefore this blog will not be funny. Supreme logic eh?
The time has come, for me to teach you all I know about the way of the blog, Blog-reader-san. Firstly we must master the art of placing background music in your blog, to deafen your enemies with the likes of Brittany Speares, Hilary Duff, Kelly Clarkson, Kylie Minogue, Christina Whats-her-face, the list is endless, but what you must know is this, dear Blog-reader-san, my student:
How do I insert music in blog background?
How do I insert Media Player to my blog page?
How do I insert pictures into the body of my blogs?
How do I insert a banner? or How do I insert a page counter?
I'm not going to repeat anything, Blog-reader-san. Now it is time for us to master the art of...
Pictures of ugly faces in blogwriting:
Pictures may include hott emo boys kissing, fat negro women's asses or preferably something else.
1. While editing blog, click "add photos" simple?
2. Page will refresh, with a link down the bottom to the picture you just uploaded, click it.
3. Picture opens in new window. Right click, "copy" it.
4. Go back to blog being edited. Click "paste".
Once a picture is on your blog, while editing (in edit mode)
You can copy and paste it, and also right click the image to choose the option of making it it's original size. This is easier than doing it all manually in HTML mode, and we all know I love to be lazy. In fact, just copy and paste crap from the
Internet: But if the page goes down, so do your PICZ LOLZ.
Woo! Drunken stick men! PENIS!
Adding Media Player to your homepage, for all your crappy "music":
 For some reason these bastards call it "Power Toy", I don't know what it is, or what spawn of Satan created the idea, but it works, so here goes nothing:
1. Start editing your damned space (if you don't know how - give up). http://YOURNAME.spaces.msn.com/PersonalSpace.aspx?_c02_owner=1&_c=&powertoy=musicvideo The blue bit makes it special. 3. Click "GO" and the page will reload, and look pretty much the same. Click "customise" and then "Add module" and you'll see some crap like "POWERTOY: SANDBOX" along with the little things where you added "custom lists" to link to every damned page on the internet. 4. Click it. It'll show up. Move it. Edit it. Do whatever the hell you want with it.
Now, you can use Media Player just like any other list, but you need to insert the URL of the file, IN MP3 FORMAT! NONE OF THIS "wuts on ma harddrive lolz?" bullcrap. http://www.whateverwhatever.com/i_want_to_kill_you.mp3 < Something that looks like that!
How to get banners and web counters and other custom HTML crapola:OMG! Look.At.Muh.Kewliez.Banner.X
The bastards call this one a "sandbox" apparently, I don't know why... I always thought that sandboxes were for urinating in.
1. Start editing your damned space (if you don't know how - give up). The green bit makes it special. 3. Click "GO" and the page will reload, and look pretty much the same. Click "customise" and then "Add module" and you'll see some crap like "POWERTOY: SANDBOX" along with the little things where you added "custom lists" to link to every damned page on the internet. 4. Click it. It'll show up. Move it. Edit it. Do whatever the hell you want with it. Just don't insert anything glittery, or you will die a horrible horrible death. If you don't know HTML, start a fake blog, and write whatever, then switch to HTML mode and copy it all.
Go away!
Prove your unpopularity, Insert webcounter: Right, now you're just being a lazy asshole. Look it up yourself like I had to.
00000000078 Visitors! 78 people have visited your space in the past year, 77 of those people...were you. ...One was your mother, you sad, pathetic, f... Search Google for "free webcounter" or "free hit counter", you will find one, follow it's simple instructions, then copy the HTML code either into a blog (while in HTML mode for that blog) or into your "sandbox" crap. Now leave me the hell alone! Alright?
Hmm, it seems that I have already taught you all I know thus far. Be satisified, or I'll eat your eyeballs.
Agenda of things to work out instead of getting a life:
1) How to Abuse people with pink/ poorly written/ glittery spaces
I'm on a blogging spree. HAVE I GONE MAD?!
*Listens to Simple Plan*
The appropriate response would be:
"Why yes, Adrian, you have."
Enjoy.
EDIT: Please note that if you do not understand any of the concepts here, you probably shouldn't be using a computer, and I would advise you NOT to ask me any further questions as I don't know CRAP about HTML and the like. Got it? Good. These are my Frequently Asked Questions about HTML and I don't know anything more than what I've shown you.
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