Tell Napoleon Dynamite, that I hate his face, very, very much.

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3/19/2006

Tell Napoleon Dynamite, that I hate his face, very, very much.

DON'T SEE NAPOLEON DYNAMITE! HERE'S WHY NOT:

I'm sure you've already been forced to see that atrocious 'Napoleon Dynamite' in all it's RANDUMNESS LOL.

I hate that movie so damned much.

Nah, I turned it off halfway and returned it

Good girl. I'm telling you, you missed NOTHING. NOTHING I tell you!

Thanks, I'm ashamed that it's on my record at the video store that I borrowed it : [

So you should be. I couldn't even stomach to watch 15 minutes of it, when I tried to watch it a second time so I could write and angry blog about it.

I seriously. Just. Couldn't. Hack. It.

D :

It's a bloody terrible movie, not even funny, and worse yet, not even satirical/ meaningful. If you don't find the 'jokes' funny, there's NOTHING left for you.

NOTHING!

*Settles down* D : I'm okay, I'mokay.

Hehehehe *Strokes your head* There there Adrian, it's over now.

*cries* It's just... so bad. And not as in "HAHA IT's so stupid, it's funny!" No, it's so stupid, that I want to strangle the damned director/ writer. That's how stupid it is. None of this damn 'funni LOL' business. 'Tis bullshit.

The only thing more dissapointing than the film itself, was the fact that I couldn't KILL any of the characters who were on the screen for more than 2 freaking hours.

>: - O

What's worse yet, is people 'immitating' and 'quoting' the movie, as if they're funny?! GOSH! LOL YER! Hilarious, asshats. Now cram it.

I'd heard just about every quote from the movie, before I even saw it. So here I was, expecting humourous timings and deliveries, only to be disspointed by a snot nosed kid in need of a hiding.

I hate him.

I HATE him.

So then, whilst everyone was quoting these lines, and I hadn't even seen the film, but could link them to that movie, I thought 'Hey, you know what? Maybe I'll see it, just so I know what they're talking about, and I can be a part of the joke'

Let me tell you. It's not worth it. Even if Julia Robert's severed head came free with that DVD, if I had my time again, I STILL would not have taken it.

I sat through that film in agonising pain, clinging to the hope of 'hey, maybe this will get better, yaknow? Like, maybe it will pick up?' It doesn't. I was grossly dissapointed.

I feel like an idiot for having seen it. I felt so ripped off. Why do I give a flying f*** if some guy makes class president? Why should I care? Exactly. I don't.

DAMNED YOU NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, YOU'VE NOW MADE ME CUSS OUT A FICTIONAL SET OF CHARACTERS!

I need a cigarette*. I'll be back in ten.

Okay, I'm back, now, where was I?

Oh no, not this God aweful movie. Rant over! Forget it!

Someone's passionate about their hate of a certain movie that will remain unnamed..

Just slightly. D : *sighs*

Wow.. I don't think I will ever... EVER bring up that movie again in a conversation with you

Touche'.

adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au

DON'T SEE 'NAPOLEON DYNAMITE'!

I'M FREAKING SERIOUS!

If I'm already too late, God speed your journey to heaven, brave soldiers.

* I don't smoke, Get over it.

These are quotes from the first 15 minutes of the movie. I'm sorry, I just couldn't watch anymore. I considered it mental suicide. These quotes speak for themselves and should show you why you're not missing much by leaving the movie on the shelf, or better yet, exploding the video store:

Napoleon Dynamite sucks. Here's why.

*waits for good bit*

*End credits roll*

Bus: Gay music,'What are you going to do today, Napoleon?' 'whatever I feel like I wanna do, GOSH'

Opening line? I already want to smash that twat. And he can draw crappy pictures? OMG WOW!

'Japanese blow nessy out of the water'

Hits ball thing LOL he missed. 'Hunting wolverines, I used a fricken 12-guage what do you think?!'

'I don't feel really good' < bitching. "Could you just go get her for me?!" 'bring me my chapstick? But my lips hurt real bad! Gah, idiot!'

'Ever take it off any sweet jumps?' Slapstick hits balls. HAHAHAH

'Worst day of my life, what do you THINK?!' 'Kip hasn't done flipping anything today!'

'FINE!'

'Eat all the freakin' chips, Kip!' 'You're such an idiot!' ... 'This is a picture of a girl'. [Insert slapstick TV 'free trial' here!]. 'I already made like, afinity off those at scout camp!' 'Tina you fat llama, come get some dinner! Eat the FOOD!' [Napoleon throws food]

'It'd be nice if you could pull me into town' LOL RANDUM Napoleon drags his brother on rollerskates with his bike WOW

'YOU THINK ANYONE THINKS I'M A FAILURE BECAUSE I GO HOME TO STARLA AT NIGHT?' lol yer

adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au

I'm sorry you had to witness that outburst. I needed to unleash this witless slur, for my sake, not yours. Cram it. I now feel so relieved, it's wonderful : ] You're not supposed to find the quotes funny, their seeming 'randomness' is how the movie is structured, which makes it utter crap.

12:52 AM | View trackbacks (3) | Blog it | Rants

Comments (21)

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	Lillywrote: Okay... I totally agree with you! 'Napoleon Dynamite' is the most pointless and unfunny peice of film I've ever seen. It has no plot whatsoever and no climax or soloution!!!!!!!!!! People ask me what it's about and I have no choise but to tell them that I have no fucking idea. I don't get why people find it so funny... It's not. Why do people quote it so much? It's not even remotley entertaining and what the fuck are the T-shirts about? 'VOTE FOR PEDRO'? What utter bullshit. Mar. 27
	Lorwrote: Haha I have tried to watch it like 4 times. I don't think I have got past the 15 minute mark either go. Mar. 26
	Chloewrote: laughs Yes, I so agree. I never even saw the thing and knew it was stupid. There's still kids walking around with vote for pedro shirts at school. It's idiotic. Intelligence: 1 Napoleon: 0 Mar. 25
	Aaron Gillieswrote: I feel glad that I had a bowel infection when I was going to see it at the cinema. It would have given me the shits...quiet literally. Mar. 24
	Britta wrote: HOLY SHIT ADRIAN I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING IN THIS BLOG. Before I saw the movie, some friends told me that it was purely random, others said it was hillarious. The latter have been disowned. Seriously, wtf. I absolutely love randomness, but that movie was purely shit. When people ask what it's about you just have to stare blankly at them. Even 'The Catcher In The Rye' is easier to explain than this waste of fillm. <3 Britta. Mar. 24
	The voice in your headwrote: If only Dynamite had more meaning than just his last name... imagines a world of exploding dumbfuck with poor hygene But I do have something that will cheer you up... The actor who played Napoleon died in a car crash about a year ago, whoever said there was no god? Mar. 23
	Lara Nowlandwrote: geez, u dont have to get shitty. i copyed it thinking it was appropriate, lost the link, and pasted neway. u dont have to be so rude about it. i did not once say that i wrote it, the reader should assume that i didnt cos i dont write like that. i linked ur site, happy now? Mar. 22
	Lloydo. wrote: I haven't seen it, but it sounds crap. Mar. 21
	Ylle wrote: I completley agree with you. Its a crap movie. Id advise against watching it. poo. whaha ah well. bye. x Mar. 20
	ratm_soad_n_AFIwrote: I've never seen this movie so hopefully i don't? But i just saw Date Movie, and i thought it was a waste of my money. Didn't really get into it, wasn't as funny as it could have been. Bit of bull actually. Speaking of random movies, i dont mind the Scary Movies, but Date Movie sucks Mar. 20
	Andrewwrote: Darn. I'm against the majority. Mar. 19
	Bennywrote: i completely agree, movies that involve attempted 'RANDUMNESS' are just pathetic. so in conlusion; Napoleon is equal to the art of conceving a baby, a fucking mistake. or as 'comic-book-guy' would famously say, "WORST MOVIE EVERRRR" bout time u made an entry peace Mar. 19
	Lana.wrote: Amen to this blog. Mar. 19
	Benwrote: Good point! I bet I could make a better movie than some of these dullwitted pricks who call themselves writers for cash. Perfect example: The Shaggy dog fucker or what ever its called. I can just imagine the board room: "Okay guys, so how about this one... A man.... Turns into a dog... because he doesn't like, spend time with his family anymore...and he does funny things, because you know like, he a dog 'n' everything. How's that sound?" "Oh yeah what a fresh new idea we can make millions! YEAH!" ------------------ You wouldn't believe some of the trash I've seen on these MSN spaces. The fluro pink background with fluro yellow text and it's all: "oMG n LYk Th3re w0Z dIs Gng* gY wHo WaS aLL LyK fK u N all DAT" Who can type that crap? None the less read it?! ----------------- Long comment, add me: poweroftrance @hotmail.com Later, Ben Mar. 19
	Sahra wrote: I thought it was shit... I feel asleep in 5 minutes. Maybe it got better. Im not sure. Ill *NEVER* know. Mar. 19
	Swrote: nice sapce.. keep it up Mar. 19
	Adrian Snrubwrote: Okay, so: This blog was witless slur, but I think I really needed to unleash anger towards that damned movie. I feel relieved now. It's wonderful. : ] (blog is crap, feeling is wonderful) Mar. 19
	...wrote: Vote 4 Pedro Mar. 19
	Katiewrote: LOL LYK ITZ SUCH A KEWL MOVIE DNT DIS IT U TRIHARD LOL!!!!!!1!!1 Mar. 19
	Jaryd Rankinwrote: You'd own Napolean on the streets. Mar. 19

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