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2006/8/23 Water Is EvilWe are going to start an anti-noise pollution extremist group.
We shall extremely quietly destroy all kinds of noise. We should even cut off our fingers because of the irritating noises that our keystrokes create. Actually, no; we need our fingers so that we can learn sign language.
I don't care if you develop a mental disorder. Mental people are cool. Go remove your room from all noise now!
Where do we sign?
Actually, no.
I need to find the scientific name for water. Ah yes, Water's scientific name is 'Dihydrogen monoxide' (which sounds incredibly bad).
We must start a petition and tell people that they must sign in order to try and press the government to remove Dihydrogen monoxide from our waterways
People did things I didn't think of. Such as film buttseckz? No. They associate death by drowning with Dihydrogen monoxide. So, you could use 2004's tsunami... and use the statistic of the amount of people that died from that. BREAKING NEWS: In 2004, some <insert huge tsunami statistic here> people died as a result of Dihydrogen monoxide.
Dihydrogen monoxide is surely to blame, and we'll make that bastard pay!
DID YOU KNOW? Dihydrogen monoxide is fatal if inhaled? It's true.
Surely we must ban dihydrogen monoxide. It's the root of all evil. Hitler used it. Need more proof?
Water = root of all evil, because without it, life wouldn't exist. So there'd be no evil. Right? Supreme logic from the Supreme Being!
[Just look at this artist rendition of dihydrogen monoxide clearly showing evil qualities which eyewitness, Paige has drawn out to be as lifelike as possible.] There has been trace of dihydrogen monoxide in all chemical and nuclear weapons.
Dihydrogen monoxide can also prove fatal when mixed with arsenic and so forth, poisoning millions of people each year. Dihydrogen monoxide is able to have acidic or alkaline properties!!! We're doomed... it also carries Ammonia! May God have mercy on us all!
DID YOU KNOW? 'Coca Cola contains Dihydrogen monoxide, which was linked to <number of tsunami deaths> in 2004!
Let us cause uproar in the stock markets! We totally just screwed Coca Cola over with our staggering research.
Fact: Australian cattle are forced to drink dihydrogen monoxide as a plot to make them grow. So dihydrogen monoxide, used by evil people, it's in the blood of evil people, caused death through inhaling, caused death through being mixed with certain substances, Nuclear weapons contain it… anything else that these bastards have ruined for us?
It's a heartbreaking sad fact, that many fish caught in foreign waters and imported to Australia for Australian consumption have suffered prolonged exposure to dihydrogen monoxide. :{
I stand by the fact that Hitler was at least 80% Dihydrogen monoxide. That just proves we need to stop this epidemic.
The time for action is now. The means for action is unknown, but we must prevail... This isn't just an epidemic... IT'S A PANDEMIC.
Oh my...read this: Symptoms of dihydrogen monoxide ingestion include excessive sweating and urination.
When taken, consumed with alcoholic content, research has shown that dihydrogen monoxide causes permanent liver and brain cell damage.
Ahhh crap! I think I'm over it now, stuff doing an illustration of evil beer...time to look for stupid things on Ebay.
http://trashcanland.spaces.live.com < Go home, fools.
This was a blog for Cody. This entry was based on a conversation we shared, which I've stolen from archives, and placed into written form for the pleasure of passer-by-eyes. I may be a thief, but I'm an honest one; which in short - makes me a pretty crappy thief. Cheerio. 2005/12/18 A Love Song.Lately, my blogs have been far too blinding, even for me, so, rest your eyes, for this blog will contain NO COLOURED TEXT WHATSOEVER! WOO!
This is the only coloured text, I lied.:
Earl and Tony MP3 download here
A love story/ tragedy
(Earl sings in brackets, as backup vocalist for Tony)
PRE-CHORUS:
Oh ho whoa, WHOA Wahoo.
(Baby, whoa, WHOA Wahoo)
VERSE 1:
Oh, Earl, mmm baby you know- oh, oh...
(Ooh yes I know)
Oh baby Early, but I don’t wanna take things slow: I love you so much; you make ma heart, my heart ay-ache
(And baby, my heart aches too)
And Early-Early I hope I can marry you
(Ooh I will ‘cause I love you)
CHORUS:
Oh ho whoa, WHOA Wahoo.
(Baby, whoa, WHOA Wahoo)
Earl, I love you.
(Tony I love you too.)
VERSE 2:
Oh baby Early, why do ya treat me like crap?
(Mm Tony, Tony, you gotta clean up your act)
Baby Earl I’m just feelin’ so blue
(Well why’d ya have to call me a filthy rotten Jew?)
Earl I tell ya I just want somethin’ more
(Well Tony, just get the hell out my door)
Hey Earl, oh tell me just who was that boy?
(He’s nobody, he’s just a friend I enjoy)
Well why don’t you tell me where you go to at night?
(I’m always at McDonalds to grab a snack to bite!)
CHORUS:
Oh ho whoa, WHOA Wahoo.
(Baby, whoa, WHOA Wahoo)
Earl, you are a filthy Jew
(Tony I hate you.)
Earl, you breakin’ ma trust
(Tony, you only love me with lust)
VERSE 3:
Oh baby Earl, are you tellin’ me we’re through?
(Oh Tony, Tony I hate to tell ya it’s true)
But why oh why, are ya doin’ this to me?
(Tony, I’m sorry, it’s just not meant to be)
Key Change:
CHORUS:
Oh ho whoa, WHOA Wahoo.
(Baby, whoa, WHOA Wahoo)
VERSE 4:
Earl, Earl I love you…
(By Tony I tell ya, there’s already someone new)
But soup-boy, you know he weighs thousand pounds
(Mm Tony, true love, you know it has no bounds)
CHORUS:
Oh ho whoa, WHOA Wahoo.
(Baby, whoa, WHOA Wahoo)
Earl, I love you.
(Tony, I said we’re through.)
But Earl, you are so beautiful,
(Tony, the feelin’s not mutual…)
[Piano climax]
(We’re through…)
[Tony sobs as applause seeps in]
For those of you who do not know Tony, or Earl, you are unlucky since they’re right here, to sing a duet for you. For those of you don’t know much about Earl, he’s 45, male and lives in your basement/ attic/ garage/ or bedroom somewhere. For those of you who don’t know much about Tony, he’s 17, homosexual, Jewish, and a paedophile in the making.
Tony likes to call people “Jews” by means of insulting them, infact, his soul purpose in life is to offend as many people within his lifetime as is possible (well it seems that way) this includes every being, whether mortal, immortal, or non-existant. I must say, from my observations, that he succeeds.
(Just read his usual vulgar comments on any space, including mine)
Now, we don’t particularly wish to find, either Earl OR Tony…but here goes…
Earl: Search “Fat gay men” into Google*, I haven’t done this, and I don’t recommend it, but do it anyway.
(*Disclaimer: You are liable for your own stupid actions)
Tony: http://spaces.msn.com/members/DJ-Fetsering-C/ , if his page says “Unavailable” it means he’s a coward, or that he’s busy slipping in the tongue…
*Gets horrible graphic mental image*
Okay, I promise I WON’T say that again!
Oh and this is his homepage which he created with friends, it's a display of the most disturbing artwork you've ever seen. Beware, not for the mortal.
http://sciencemasterworks.tripod.com/ *
(*Disclaimer: Again, you are liable for your own stupid actions)
Enjoy this song, which is bound to leave you both heartbroken, and vomiting. Picture it as a 1980's love song, back in the days of: "I'm All Outta love" - SOME HIPPY "Love is in the Air" - ANOTHER GUY
Sadly, due to me being a lazy dick, wait, it sounds better if I say "due to being held up with other commitments", I have been unable to record this song, but it will be done. You can picture Tony having a high pitched boyband type voice, possibly like Eamon
If you don't know either of those references, worry not, just think of a Chipmonk and Bear in the Big Blue House comming together to sing a horrible, horrible song. If you can't work it out for yourselves, I will eventually post my recording of this song, with full character voices hopefully within the week; on my new webpage!
www.freewebs.com/apparentlyadrian
That webpage is empty at the moment, so don't bother. Just enjoy my song.
Add me if you can spell
Edit: More specifically if you can punctuate, use grammar, spell correctly, have decent font, and don't use symbols or emoticons in anything.
adrians_blogs_r_us@yahoo.com.au
2005/12/4 Say YES to drugs!OMGZOR I shud writ abt how u buttseckz chickenz fer reel u no? Infact, I think I might just take some crack right... about... NOW!
Hholly sshhiitt tthiss iss ssoo ccoolll bbeecausse Iii wwass totallyy ggoinng ttoo wwritee a bblogg wwhillee ii wwass oonn drrugss so tthatt mmmeaans tthatt Iii ccalll thhemm bbluggss. Yyou knnoww wwhatt Iii mmeaan,, mman? Thhee oother ddayy I bummpped iinntoo mmyy frriiendd Joeyy annnd heee wwass all liikkee "WWOAH MMAAN III FFOUNND THESSEE AAWEESOMMME TTHINNNGS!!! tthheeyy arree callledd... LLIIGGHT SWIITCHES OOMMYGOOSHH!" Thheenn wwee weenntt tto ssee thhe ppurplle oorranngee trreee bbut Iii ccanntt rremmembber iiff iitt wwas reeaalll orr nnot ssso yyeah wwee aatte ssomme off thhe ttrrees wwhhillee tthee sskatebooarrds daanceed aaroundd inn litttlle ttinny circcless.
Thheenn Iii weennntt anndd ttooldd tthhee ppoliicee ooffficceer ttoo sssucckk mmyy ttinnny baallsss ssiinnncee esspeccciialllyy Iiii wwasss aallreeaddyy nnakkeedd aanywayyss. Hhee tttoldd mmee tthhaatt myyy dddriinkkkss hhhaadd eennoougghh wwhhiccch wwass rreaalllyy ffunnnyy bbecauusee off ssomethiiingg.
AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
Ooww,, mmyy hheeadd reeallyy huurrtss nnoww ffoorr heeapps. HHOOLLLLYY CCRAAPPP ITTSS AALLIIEENNSS mmann tthosse gguys aaree soo ccoool!!!!
Wait a second, those aren't aliens at all, that's just the mailbox. Dammit, I need more drugs. Hmm, okay I'll tell you what I'm going to do, so that you don't hurt yourself with the already b l i n d i n g colour of my webpage combined with the incoherency of trippy spelling to rot your brain faster than Paris Hilton can remove her underwear (Dude, a Paris Hilton joke, that's so lame).
An interview:
Adrian: So tell me all about your life and where all these things-- Reggie: Let me tell you a joke! Adrian: ... Reggie: Yesterday...right? HAhah, I went down the steet...and...I SAW THIS GUY! AHAHAHAHAH Adrian: Yes thankyou that's very nice, but what can you tell me about-- Reggie: Oh yeah, like man, let me tell you a true story, yeah a true story right. About a week ago the 'Please Ossy-fer' (Police Officer) after telling me to put on some clothes told me that... AHAHAH isn't that fantastic??? Adrian: Erm, I can't see how that's 'fantastic' in any way but I guess we should move on. Reggie: Yeah I agree like they should start making square TV SETS! Adrian: Err..I believe they already have those, you know... Percy: Hey dudes, is this the bathroom? *Percy vomits on my damn clean carpet floor* Adrian: GET THE HELL OUT! WHO ARE YOU?! Reggie: Oh yeah that's my friend, Percy but I can't remember his name! AHAHAHHA! Percy: AHAHAHAHHA *A series of gunfire is heard* Percy: *Dies* Reggie: *Dies* Adrian: Yes, hilarious.
Well, I suppose one thing that can be said, is that drug addicts are at least useful on this planet for two reasons. 1) To be laughed at. 2) I'll think of something else, don't worry.
I'm sure that if I were to start a talk show, that it would be far more popular than Rove Live, Conan O'Brian, Jay Lenno, and Dave whats-his-face combined! Well, not "more popular" but certainly better than them. Oh, and remember kids, say no to drugs except the AWESOME ones. Due to popular demand, I'm going to show you a lesbian crack head, brace yourself:
...
... Little more
...Oh, the suspense!
...Keep 'er commin'.
...
Meet "Earl".
And his much more soup-eatingly experienced father:
Tired of ugly lesbians and random animations? Me neither.
Don't even ask, because I don't even know the significance of that one.
I'm going to regret this, I know I am, I really really am. Argh, Oh, gee! Hmm...okay, okay, okay! Well here we go, deep breath: This is my MSN contact, for ONE WEEK ONLY I will be adding random friendly strangers, so (gulp) add me if you wish. >_< I'm going to regret this later aren't I?
******@hotmail.com add me. : O
Footnote: If you want to add me, 'u carnt spell lyk dis' otherwise I might abuse you and you can befriend the other end of my block button. I don't post my hotmail adress here normally because I'm tired of random crackheads looking for friends. If you like me, that's cool and I'm happy to talk! If you randomly click my email adress, get stuffed! If you hate me, don't be shy now; I'm more than happy to pretend to listen to your complaints. : ]
If you would like EARL to make a guest appearance on your webpage because you have taken my advice towards taking drugs a little too seriously, then this is all you need to paste into HTML mode:
<IMG height=100 src="http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF4_bEtbVuyM6PChFuYnNLNE15cpfYIfZtpl-3MBhahZlZC2jEee7-YkHNT-m1ZY3TF9KW1YShfeiuizSssbEv6BkfpEFTs4lHjGfNvXlyDgD1PM15zJl2hbyO_gOu_l7e_W2IxafRQLAA" width=100>
434 drugs are needed to be taken for this blog to make sense and miraculously become funny. Better updates are due to come soon, I promise. 2005/11/13 About me being a lesbian...
2005/10/30 Japanese cartoons? No thanks.Goku, Pikachu, Senshu, I don't like you.
Seriously, all Japanese cartoons are based around the same concepts...you want to make a Japanese cartoon? You don't even need artistic talent! Here, I've written you a guide.
1. Include magic, and 'power-ups' so that your protagonist can increase in strength, while the enemy does the same, overall keeping things pretty much equal, and repetitive, but the names of any objects/skill used can simply treble in length: "Super-mega-ultra-death-bringing-magic-thing!" and the lights that they produce can become slightly more blinding/ flash more frequently.
2. Characters must FLY! It doesn't matter who they are, or how far they are travelling, as long as they fly. Objects can fly despite simple laws of physics/ gravity too! WOAH A FLYING TOASTER, THAT'S USEFUL!
3. Superstrength, anything that humans can't do. Such as open a packet of jellybeans, or sit through an episode of Macleods Daughters. No, not quite like that, but just unusual strength.
4. Talking animals kick ass. See, not only do they talk, but they literally kick ass. This is always entertaining to watch violence, but it's fake-animal violence so it's great for the kiddies.
5. Trading cards/ video game merchandise which is bound to bore you to tears, but be a great gambling trade for children across schools worldwide. Cheap toys, gay stickers. It's all a part of the experience.
6. Boobs, cleavage, ass, and lots and lots of bouncing of them. Suitable for all audiences apparently, so the inclusion of them must be good for making your own cartoon.
7. Legends/ prophecy and other boring crap, just to please everybody. I'm still not quite sure who is pleased, but it seems to be working so far, don't argue with this system it will make you filthy rich.
Now, you will notice that "plot" is missing from this list, as are a variety of other important things. This is not a mistake, this is merely an observation that the cartoons suck. Stop watching them.
So my new cartoon is going to be about a telemarketer with boobs, who turns into a flying seal which goes around and kicks everyone's ass to fullfiil the wishes of its grandfather's ghost using fairy dust and overwhelming seal-powered strength which is no doubt going to have blinding results. I just need to think of a "cool" name.
SAJI-JO KUMI NA HO ©™
The busty flying tranforming seal-telemarketer with superstrength to kick everyone's ass for it's dead grandfather. ©™
Quite a title eh? And now you can't steal my ideas. Sorry folks, but I'm sure you will see this series/film/trading card set, and all the subliminal messages contained in them, as soon as I sell the rights for it at a ridiculously high price.
In the spirit of things, I have charged up to be "Adri-han", Supersaiyan x200. I'm going to have to change the way I talk to be slightly more extreme though...
>;-O I GUESS I WILL SEE YOU GUYS LATER, WE HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE! GOODBYE FOR NOW, IT WAS REALLY NICE MEETING YOU!
2005/7/25 Entertaining PedophilesNow that i have your attention with the title, i wish to tell you that i do not know how to entertain a sexually active pedophile, nor do i want to. Instead i wish to tell you about a few pedophiles who i found to be.....entertaining. And as i leave a moment to let all you slow folk catch up i'll tell you what i do in my spare time.
Yahoo has to be one of the least safe mediums of Instant Messaging, ive had 3 email accounts stolen by perverted SCUM who wanted to see my friends boobies, yeah well *raises middle finger*, not that that seems very threatening....there is a far more FUN way to get revenge on the people we love to hate!
there are 2 approaches:
1. look for people in chat rooms who say ANY GURLZ WANNA CHAT????
this is the typical scumbag who has had too many vita-wheats for breakfast. Once you have seen him advertise his unsexed-pimply-faced-form in the room, as a guy who is DESPERATE to find any woman who doesnt run at the site of him, you then have another 2 options for this horny adolescent.
a) Abuse the crap out of him
b) lead him on to believe he is talking to an attractive female and then give him the surprise of his life (THEN abuse the crap out of him)
Option "B" is definately my preference here is how it goes...
PERV: ANY GURLZ WANNA CHAT????
me: sure, hunny, what you wanna talk about?
PERV: YOU GOT CAM??? PICS????
me: uh huh, but first your gunna tell me your asl if thats okay *giggles*
PERV: 19/m/CALIFORNIA YOU????
me: oh lol, im only 15 but im sure you will like my pics *grins*
PERV: OKAY OKAY SEND SEND
option1: send him a picture of a fat, ugly man and then tell him off in a way that will mean he stops hitting on girls online, claim to be 45/m/USA while you rip it up him for being such a desperate lowlife s***head!
option2: keep playing the game and send a random pic of some softcore porn, of some slutty teen girl, dressed in something skimpy (you dont have to look very hard to find one)
for arguments sake lets go with option 2 for now...
PERV: WOW YOU HOT!!!!! R U MASTURBATE?????
me: lol only if you want me too, hey can i give you a call *grins* i'll make it worth your while *giggles*
PERV: SURE!!!!!!! YES PLZ!!!!! 555-555-555
now observe the following, this guy is obviously filled with so many hormones that he would attempt to have sex with a toaster, so now to finish him off...your trap is set....whats next, do you:
a) give him a slap on the wrist, tell him not to do it again, tell him your sorry for playing a practical joke and teach him how to be more considerate of women
b) send him that ugly man picture and abuse the crap out of him, possibly boot him offline and make claims of tracing him and hacking him as threats so he will damn well leave girls alone
c) go on webcam so he can see just how hard you are laughing at this pathetic asshole
d) give him a call and use your very MALE voice to try and convince him that you are, infact a police officer who has just traced the number and will be knocking on his door within the next 24 hours to arrest him for pedophilia and sexual harrassment
YOU HAVE THE POWER!
there is a second appraoch, this is when its personal!
a pedophile is harrassing one of your female friends online, stalking her, harrassing her, and looking for her personal details, this bastard has even figured out her phone number. who do you call? ghostbusters...stuff that! here is what you do:
your female friend may be distressed about the freako
STEP 1 - reassure
then comes the little game of musical chairs, here is how you play:
1.tell your friend to sign into YOUR account, while you go into theirs
2. establish the connection with both the friend, and the pedo
3. keep leading the guy on to believing he is talking to the same person and then "give in" to showing your webcam
4. he will call you a faggot, because he wont know what to do
5. he certainly wont want to talk to the "owner" of that account anymore
6. swap back with your friend and laugh about the conversation that you had
REMEMBER: when a rat is cornered, it may attack, be ready for childish booting, calling of the police (nothing to fear), continual harrassment for "pretending to be a chick, you fag", or if hes a smart cookie...he may try to steal the email adress by cracking the password.
to stop crackers:
take a look at my password: )$@&_*&$_@()
now you may say WOAH THATS CRAZY TALK, HOW DO I REMEMBER THAT?
take a look without the shift key: 0427-874-290
now your saying HOLY CRAP THATS A PHONE NUMBER
yes it is, it is also not likely to be figured out by friends or assholes
im sure you all know plenty of phone numbers, so enjoy my free adivice, have fun pissing scumbags off, and God bless!
be sure to have a secure firewall and spyware remover in case he tries to KEYLOG to gain your information or passwords, this is simple logic when using the internet though so please...
GO HAVE SOME FUN!
Millions of people do not know this useful information. |
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